Kalau dengar cerita dari mulut orang lain, boleh jadi cerita tu berubah ubah struktur nya. Dari mulut A ke mulut B sampai ke telinga sendiri dari mulut K. Tak ke jauh.


Tapi kalau dah nampak dengan mata kepala sendiri, pandai2 lah.


Sebab tu tak boleh nak judge orang kalau tak tahu cerita disebaliknya.


Sebab tu selama ni aku hadap je orang kata aku macam macam.



"Kau ego tinggi doh dy". Ye ego aku tinggi.

"Kau ni keras kepala la". Ye kepala aku memang keras kalau lembik tak tahu mcm mana bentuk kepala aku.

"Kau ni macam ni la..macam tu laa". Ye aku macam ni, aku macam tu.



Tak boleh nak salah kan orang yang bercakap tu sebab diorang judge from what they see or hear. People judge. Tu kena tahu. Tak boleh nak melenting bila orang cakap macam tu.

Tapi kali ni kau dah tengok depan mata sendiri, aku takde nak memburuk burukkan orang. Kau dah nampak sendiri. Sekarang ni terpulang kau lah nak tengok aku as the bad guy or not.

Aku tak sampaikan cerita, aku tak mereka cerita.


Tapi cerita ni happen depan mata kau.


Terpulang kau nak percaya mata sendiri atau telinga.


Aku tak membuktikan aku betul, cuma jangan letak salah tu seratus peratus atas aku.


Bukan sekali dua aku kena macam ni. Kadang2 perasaan tu dah kebas. kata orang putih, numb.


Kalau boleh buka kan mata orang lain cerita sebenar.


Kalau boleh, aku taknak lah terima private message kata aku macam macam.

Siapa taknak back up member. Tapi kalau nak back up membuta tuli dengar cerita dari mulut orang lain ke apa tak boleh jugak. Kalau member sendiri memang dah salah, kau nak back up bagi menang, berdosa tahu. Menegak kan benda yang salah.


Jangan bercakap benda yang kosong. Cerita yang aku tulis ni, berisi.


Aku ni memang jenis dominan. Nak buat macam mana. Be it other's people fault, I'm the one who they see guilty.


Kalau jalan berdua dengan perempuan lain, orang ingat aku gay. dalam erti kata lain sejenis.


Mulut orang kita tak boleh nak tutup. Asalkan diri sendiri tahu macam mana, kisah apa orang lain cakap.


Kalau side aku macam ni orang dah cakap ego tinggi, keras kepala, degil, ketegaq ke apa,

You havent see my true colour yet, bro.


Ikutkan statistic aku dah lower the level apa yang orang cakap aku selama ni sebanyak 73 peratus.


Tahukah anda perangai aku yang sebenarnya telah menyebabkan perpecahan yang besar berlaku dalam hidup aku?

Takde undo button.


p/s: Untuk pengetahuan, aku dah menjangkau umur 20-an. Bukan dua belas. bukan dua.
      Beragak lah nak menipu ke apa, aku bukan otak kecil.

MIND OVER MATTER

"I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all"

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain rasa bahagia dari dalam hati, tapi kau bahagia sebab kau save perasaan tu dalam kepala. 

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain menangis sebab dia rasa sedih, tapi kau menangis sebab kau save dalam kepala bila sedih harus menangis.

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain penat sebab perasaan dia, tapi kau penat sebab tak boleh nak merasa.

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Semua perasaan kau simpan dalam kepala. Bila bahagia kau harus senyum. Bila lawak kau mesti gelak. Bila sedih kau kena nangis. 

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain broken hearted, jujur rasa sakit dari dalam hati tapi kau sakit hati sebab otak kau cakap kau perlu rasa macam tu. sebab tu common sense. mana ada orang broken heart tapi tak rasa apa2. Kau cuba adapt situation so that you at least look like a human. 

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain rasa ikhlas datang dari hati tapi kau datang dari otak sendiri. 

Tapi jadi robot seronok juga. 

Sebab kau tak rasa penat. Kalau kau benci orang, benda tu tak effect kau pun. Kalau kau dendam dengan orang, benda tu tak exhaust kau pun. Sebab semua benda tu kau simpan dalam kepala. Once kau dah benci atau dendam, kau tak perlu nak ingatkan pada diri kau yang kau benci atau dendam dengan orang. sebab kau dah cop muka orang ni yang kau benci atau dendam dengan dia.

Tapi kena ingat, 

Robot bukan manusia.

Manusia bukan robot.

Crazy day crazy thing crazy night #1

Pijak lantai berpasir. tengok bawah pasu kaktus dah jatuh tanah hitam bersepah. Tapi apa aku buat? Hanya mampu tengok lepas tu buat bodoh. Tak guna.



I cant even take care of my cactus and also fishes.


How come do I expect to take care about others, I cant even take care of myself. Ehh I do. I just can take care of myself because i dont really care about me. Heh


Got starbucks and sushi with ainaa and ain really made my day after having tiring day working at our garage sale booth. The exhausted-ness flew away the moment we step into the car with drinks on our hands. But by the time I see my bed at room I just cant resist. I cant say no to my bed so I cuddle with my comfort blankie and fall asleep. Also I missed the theater. *not that I really wanna see it anyway but still*


And last night? We're having a bad crazy day at first. And we started to feel alot better after going out just the two of us, me and farah *my roommie* took her to mcd to have breakfast at 5 and all the coffee talk whatever teach her how to drive also chilling out at side of the highway, about to take picture suddenly phone battery went low so no awesome pictures to show hahaha.


I know deep down she needed this. I even brought tissue to the park where she hang out by herself. You better appreciate me rommie cse there's one and only eddy in this whole wide world hahahahaha kbai



p/s: sometimes you just have to listen. Its nice to actually know that someone's there for you.


     I'm having a really bad day so i cant even remember which story came first so I kinda mixed up so
     just bare with me. Just so you know all of the above happened in one day one night but thanks to
     my awesome self and friends who made me feel alot bettahh.



iknewyouweretrouble#np

Quote Of The Day #1

" If you knew that you were going to lose your leg tomorrow, would you sit on the couch and cry about it or would you run and jump and do some awesome air kick while you still could." - HIMYM



mirror#nowplaying

asdfgkhasdhkn

If it is something you dont like

of course you dont want it.

right?

or is it just me?

i mean I want Mocha

and of course Latte wont do

because if I want Latte, I'll say Latte.

Gahhhhhhh

of course I'm trying to be nice

because I do respect.

Cant put up with me?

I dont remember asking you to stay.

I've been meaning to walk you to the door

but I'm not that nice.

You know where the door is.

They say love grows.

But hate grows deeper.

If you know what I mean.

Just a cup of coffee #1

Have you ever feel so mad and you just sit alone,  have some quality time with yourself thinking, while listening to song that could bring you back into some sense and then you realized, how silly you're acting, throwing tantrums where one easy thing could fix the situation.


This happened to me last night. Three something in the morning to be exact.


I realized that I made some crappy posts before, you know trying to to express my feeling which is good but not in a good way. You know you gotta talk to someone who you've been meaning to talk to instead of keeping it to yourself. Maybe writing it down would help but not 100% effective.

So, it got me thinking, why not start afresh?

Maybe I'm wrong. or maybe I'm not. But thats not the point.

In relationship, you have to give and take to make it work.

Obviously, you cant always win. and you cant be the one who always give in either.

and it gets back to give and take method.



"I guess sometimes you just have to set your ego aside. And remember at the love that you have for that other person is way more important than winning " - HIMYM SE5EP6


They say, fights in a relationship are healthy. But if you keep fighting all the time, it could be worst. You may fight because the other person do something wrong so you just have to talk about it so they wont do it again next time. Or you could sit back and think again why did they do it anyway.


Stop blaming and finger pointing. Instead, take it positively and learn from it.

And this doesnt just for relationship, but also friendship. We talk random and general here.


Knowing myself, I shouldnt write this post as in i'm good enough or well experienced to give relationship advice. Or maybe its nauseating for you to read this, but somehow you'll get there. and everything on the above does make sense.



p/s: This might sounds weird but to those who find drinking coffee and listening to song could talk some sense into you, then you're not alone. I'm here bro. I do feel so. 


#listeningtoFlyFm

That.....

Hopeless.

I feel hopeless.

You know you cant win the fight but still you dont wanna lose but you cant do anything about it.

It may sounds like you're giving up. But it isnt.

It just that you know where you are and not wasting your time fighting for something that isnt worth it.


No matter how hard I fight, no matter what I say, in the end I still lose. I may have point but its not right enough to make me win. I dont have alibi.

Maybe I happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe.

I may have not the chance now, but I will some other time. I know.

If we ever meet again, i'll make this right.



p/s: its not that I dont care, I still do. It just that no matter how hard I try, no one sees. and for now I shall stop being your burden. 


beautifulhangover#nowplaying