Kalau dengar cerita dari mulut orang lain, boleh jadi cerita tu berubah ubah struktur nya. Dari mulut A ke mulut B sampai ke telinga sendiri dari mulut K. Tak ke jauh.


Tapi kalau dah nampak dengan mata kepala sendiri, pandai2 lah.


Sebab tu tak boleh nak judge orang kalau tak tahu cerita disebaliknya.


Sebab tu selama ni aku hadap je orang kata aku macam macam.



"Kau ego tinggi doh dy". Ye ego aku tinggi.

"Kau ni keras kepala la". Ye kepala aku memang keras kalau lembik tak tahu mcm mana bentuk kepala aku.

"Kau ni macam ni la..macam tu laa". Ye aku macam ni, aku macam tu.



Tak boleh nak salah kan orang yang bercakap tu sebab diorang judge from what they see or hear. People judge. Tu kena tahu. Tak boleh nak melenting bila orang cakap macam tu.

Tapi kali ni kau dah tengok depan mata sendiri, aku takde nak memburuk burukkan orang. Kau dah nampak sendiri. Sekarang ni terpulang kau lah nak tengok aku as the bad guy or not.

Aku tak sampaikan cerita, aku tak mereka cerita.


Tapi cerita ni happen depan mata kau.


Terpulang kau nak percaya mata sendiri atau telinga.


Aku tak membuktikan aku betul, cuma jangan letak salah tu seratus peratus atas aku.


Bukan sekali dua aku kena macam ni. Kadang2 perasaan tu dah kebas. kata orang putih, numb.


Kalau boleh buka kan mata orang lain cerita sebenar.


Kalau boleh, aku taknak lah terima private message kata aku macam macam.

Siapa taknak back up member. Tapi kalau nak back up membuta tuli dengar cerita dari mulut orang lain ke apa tak boleh jugak. Kalau member sendiri memang dah salah, kau nak back up bagi menang, berdosa tahu. Menegak kan benda yang salah.


Jangan bercakap benda yang kosong. Cerita yang aku tulis ni, berisi.


Aku ni memang jenis dominan. Nak buat macam mana. Be it other's people fault, I'm the one who they see guilty.


Kalau jalan berdua dengan perempuan lain, orang ingat aku gay. dalam erti kata lain sejenis.


Mulut orang kita tak boleh nak tutup. Asalkan diri sendiri tahu macam mana, kisah apa orang lain cakap.


Kalau side aku macam ni orang dah cakap ego tinggi, keras kepala, degil, ketegaq ke apa,

You havent see my true colour yet, bro.


Ikutkan statistic aku dah lower the level apa yang orang cakap aku selama ni sebanyak 73 peratus.


Tahukah anda perangai aku yang sebenarnya telah menyebabkan perpecahan yang besar berlaku dalam hidup aku?

Takde undo button.


p/s: Untuk pengetahuan, aku dah menjangkau umur 20-an. Bukan dua belas. bukan dua.
      Beragak lah nak menipu ke apa, aku bukan otak kecil.

You know?

That feeling when you're supposed to feel something but you cant. not because you're heartless or cannot feel anything but it just that you shouldn't feel that way because people judge.


For example, you refuse to eat something because it doesnt taste good but you cant say anything but to eat it because people will say that you're picky.


Get what it means?


Or you got a cut, just a small cut but it hurts because its deep, but you cant brag about it because people will say that you're weak cse all they see it just a small cut but they cant see how deep it is.


See?



p/s: You know, sometimes you cant tell someone everything because some people judge, some people jump into conclusion, some people being on sides, some people dont even care, and the worst some people cant keep it. But for all I know, I'm glad that I have someone that understand. 



Enough said.



#skypingwithlynn♥

FOREIGN LANGUAGE :)

Learning foreign language is beneficial. and fun!

p/s: been working on my korean. wish I can make an entry in Hangul soon! 

13/04/30

Baru rasa macam semalam kau cerita kat aku life matrik kau. Kau tak tau macam mana nak survive another one year without familiar faces around. It sure a hell of rough road but you've made it. and so, i'm very proud of you my friend :)

CONGRATULATIONS!

back then in school, who knows that we had a stalker. and i miss my stalker very much :|

upintheair#nowplaying

Bro-sick

Normally, when hostel students going back on holiday they're looking forward to spend time with their family. So do I.

But mine is bit different cse not all my family members are living under the same roof. My sister is now currently in Kedah, still studying and even on holidays we're not meeting each other cse she's living with my mom. And I stay with my dad, as well as my younger brother and sister.

And talking about brother, he's the one I look forward to meet the most during holidays. One of the major reason is because he's the one and only brother I ever had in the world and he understand me the most. We fight alot, cursed each other and throwing stuffs. But he's also the one who take me out for dinner and buy me sanitary pad when I'm not able to move from bed. I sometimes borrow his money when I'm broke and I lend him some when he need.

But brother-sister's relationship isnt beautiful all time. Of course there's some people who always nice with their siblings and saying I Miss You to them isnt a problem. But for me, I cant simply text or call him and say I miss you. Thats not how I show my affection to my brother or sisters. or anyone. In fact, I never say I Love You or I Miss You to my brother.

To me, if I let my brother borrow my things such as laptop to play games, that means love. Of course it is. We share room *its bunk beds*.  We share shorts. We share shirts. We share alot of things.

But as the time flies, we grow up. Whenever I went back home for holiday, he's not always around. He got school and friends. He has social life. He always go out and only come back at night. We dont spend much time together and it has been months since I last met him.


p/s: I'm writing this entry because I saw your pictures on facebook. You're really grown up. I dont spend much time with you cse i was in boarding school before and living in hostel till now. Though I'm not always there when you're growing up but I hope you'll be a better man. Though I know you wont read this but still I cant say those words I've been wanting to say. Let say sharing stuffs would have the same meaning, I'd say I'm sharing stuff with you. Have a good life my bro :)

thislove#nowplaying

Have you ever feel like people seeing you as the bad guy though you did nothing wrong and its completely someone else's fault?

This kinda remind me of memories in highschool, being around with friends, sure we fight alot. But mostly I didnt remember started it. My friend did. I act normal cse nothing really happen but as soon as I walk into the classes the desk parted, and they sit quite in distance with me. And I took it as nothing's wrong and went back to dorm and see the bed arrangement in distance and half of the room didnt talk to me. Did I do something wrong with you guys? NO. Actually there's just one person who misunderstood me and I dont know how the person do it, manage to soak people's mind with making up stories and stuff but really I dont care. One day when I couldnt hold it back, I burst out my anger which I hold for quite a long time, just go on living a normal life like I always did with the rumors spreading like fire all around and my frenemies seems to be alot more than my real friends for about 2 to 3 months plus. I did not do anything harsh I just scream my lungs out and that person end up crying outside. And that 15 seconds of screaming makes me the bad guy in the situation who did nothing but scream. and *curse*.  Afterall, we're all okay. Because we're friends. 

Friends might fight, but that doesnt mean we hate. That just means we love each other more. If I ever hate you, I didnt even consider you as friend at first. 

The point I'm trying to say here is, though its not my fault and I barely know what's wrong going on around me and a person, in the end i always look like the bad guy. And if you're about to start a cold war/fight with me, bring no one but yourself and face me. If you think going around and making up stories about me will make you look innocent, you're wrong. You just successfully make yourself look pathetic. you know why? because you dont have the guts to stand for yourself that you have to recruit a troop for backing you up. Sad life bitch. That makes you weaker cse you yourself already weak. 

p/s: If I ever hate someone, I'll tell them why I hate them so much that they'll hate themselves too. You dont wanna be the person who brave enough to start a fight but end up crying at the corridor. I might be patient, but I'm not patient enough. And you can keep talking behind my back, because its exactly where you belong.

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY #2

Hello guys! So last night was a hell lot of fun and i'm looking forward to meet them again!


1) Ache Brazil Capoeira's street roda at Teluk Chempedak (TC)!!!!!

2) Meet Gen and other caporista. Sadly I didnt join in the roda, I just stand back and clap. I missed too much practice and I dont think I'm good enough to do it publicly.

3) Then we lepak at this stall and drink. This one guy which I dont quite remember his name, playing the snow spray. He spray it on his palm and set them on fire. IT WAS EPIC! Gen recorded the video and I shall upload it later because it was hillarious oh mai god seriously you guys should watch it. Haha but the video is not wimme now but will soon. so wait for it!

4) Gen wore my nails polish that I brought along and I swear it looks good on her. She played her ukulele and sing When I Was Your Man and damn it was good! Her voice is great. She did teach me how to play but my fingers couldnt catch up. I guess I have to practice more.

5) Me and Gen has a lot in common. we BOTH FANCY BACKPACK! Hers is super cute strawberry backpack. One thing about small backpack, it might looks small, but it could carry more that you think it can. I think I'm gonna make an entry about my backpack :DD

6) I save the best for the last so I shall now announce the ultimate moment that happened last night that makes me super duper beyond cloud nine of happiness (wasnt sure if my metaphor is right but whatev) i'm overly excited because it was my first time so I'm bit overwhelmed but I couldnt believe it that I admit publicly that he's my boyfriend. Usually I dont go public, but this time among the caporista, it feels like family.

7) Today supposed to be the start of i'm-all-alone-stuck-up-here-while-everybody-else-going-back-for-holiday-but-i'm-so-lazy-to-go-home-this-weekend-so-blame-me parade, but still the small things does makes me happy. I sent him to the the bus stop and trying to put a i'm-cool-i-can-take-care-of-myself-dont-you-worry-i'm-fine face cse i cant afford to let people know my i-gonna-miss-you-but-i-wont-admit-it-for-sure look. I wrote him a letter and he wrote one for me too. Its beeeeeeeennnn a while since the last letter he gave me that I didnt reply because apparently I forgot. sorry. so the letter is super cute because it says "do not open until i'm gone". hihi



p/s: Life's too short to be unhappy. Have you ever take a look of yourself in the mirror, and see the wrinkles on your face? uh-huh not cute. Live your life. Dont think. Just do. #HIMYM. btw I think I'm gonna make a review on some movie I've watched. Stay tuned!


wheniwasyourman#nowplaying

Macam macam

There's one time, masa aku period pain yang teramat sangat sampai berpeluh peluh tak boleh tido and pain killer pun dah hbs so aku ajak dia pegi seven-e. On our way he was driving so fast and I was like "weh rilek ahh, asal bawak laju? aku sakit perut je pun. bukan nya nak bersalin". Then I burst into laughing. He did too. He's afraid that I couldnt bear the pain so dia bawak laju so that cepat sampai dapat beli ubat and kurangkan sakit.

To be honest, I feel so blessed having him in my life. Seeing his worried and concern face could blew the pain away. well not literally but it could ease the pain at least. However, we shouldnt neglect our safety and put it behind. Safety first. Memang lah emergency, tapi keselamatan lagi penting. Nanti tak pasal2 from sakit senggugut yang boleh heal dalam sejam dua lepas makan ubat jadi lebih teruk. 

p/s: Its the little things that count. Though he just bought me painkillers and mineral water, but he did taking care of me. Thank you :) Is there someone else who did the same to you? Well, appreciate!

Awkward#nowplaying

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY #1

1) Had tea break with love. We ate ice cream. Not literally together cse after I finish eating then only he showed up. However we still had a very good time.


2) We draw  fake ring on our finger and took bunch of pictures and change our twitcon immediately.


3) We had this deeper conversation about favorite color, how do we sleep at night, and favorite ice cream. Surprisingly we both fancy MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP! Yeay :D


4) Got blessing, approval, support from my bestfriends! :)


p/s: spending some quality time with your love one doesnt necessarily mean going out on a date or dinner at fancy restaurant. just a little tea break would do. though it sounds small but those little things count. Effort :)

                                

                 my annoying supplement ;)            and                  my annoying self --'

timeaftertime#nowplaying

FEW HEADS UP

hello guys out there. its been a while since my last post. not gonna make excuses such i'm busy, i have no time, i have nothing to write bla bla bla.. the truth is i'm not consistent. i got distracted easily and most of the time i'm being lazy. so here goes the few heads up :

i) i'm in fourth semester which suppose to be my last semester but I extend my final year project so i have another semester.

ii) i bought two cactus, one is for me and one for my friend but for the time being i took care of both but recently my friend's cactus was broken as it fell from fourth floor(my room).

iii) SUKFAC(sukan fakulti) is just around the corner so i have training everynight 8-10  (usually i came at 8.30 *earliest* and 9.15 *latest*) and after that i went to dinner and for sure i'm exhausted then i go to sleep and sometimes i skip classes. *shhhhhh*

iv) my faculty dinner is next week (friday) and up till today i havent decide what to wear yet and the theme is masquerade and if you have any idea or suggestion pls inform me i need to decide by weekends!

and i think thats all for now cse i have two to three entry to be made but under different title so i'm gonna end this now so that i have more time to write new one. and btw i have another blog which will be general about life and stuff, nothing personal like this one. okay i'm crapping. bye.