MIND OVER MATTER

"I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all"

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain rasa bahagia dari dalam hati, tapi kau bahagia sebab kau save perasaan tu dalam kepala. 

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain menangis sebab dia rasa sedih, tapi kau menangis sebab kau save dalam kepala bila sedih harus menangis.

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain penat sebab perasaan dia, tapi kau penat sebab tak boleh nak merasa.

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Semua perasaan kau simpan dalam kepala. Bila bahagia kau harus senyum. Bila lawak kau mesti gelak. Bila sedih kau kena nangis. 

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain broken hearted, jujur rasa sakit dari dalam hati tapi kau sakit hati sebab otak kau cakap kau perlu rasa macam tu. sebab tu common sense. mana ada orang broken heart tapi tak rasa apa2. Kau cuba adapt situation so that you at least look like a human. 

Ingat seronok ke jadi robot?

Bila tengok orang lain rasa ikhlas datang dari hati tapi kau datang dari otak sendiri. 

Tapi jadi robot seronok juga. 

Sebab kau tak rasa penat. Kalau kau benci orang, benda tu tak effect kau pun. Kalau kau dendam dengan orang, benda tu tak exhaust kau pun. Sebab semua benda tu kau simpan dalam kepala. Once kau dah benci atau dendam, kau tak perlu nak ingatkan pada diri kau yang kau benci atau dendam dengan orang. sebab kau dah cop muka orang ni yang kau benci atau dendam dengan dia.

Tapi kena ingat, 

Robot bukan manusia.

Manusia bukan robot.

Crazy day crazy thing crazy night #1

Pijak lantai berpasir. tengok bawah pasu kaktus dah jatuh tanah hitam bersepah. Tapi apa aku buat? Hanya mampu tengok lepas tu buat bodoh. Tak guna.



I cant even take care of my cactus and also fishes.


How come do I expect to take care about others, I cant even take care of myself. Ehh I do. I just can take care of myself because i dont really care about me. Heh


Got starbucks and sushi with ainaa and ain really made my day after having tiring day working at our garage sale booth. The exhausted-ness flew away the moment we step into the car with drinks on our hands. But by the time I see my bed at room I just cant resist. I cant say no to my bed so I cuddle with my comfort blankie and fall asleep. Also I missed the theater. *not that I really wanna see it anyway but still*


And last night? We're having a bad crazy day at first. And we started to feel alot better after going out just the two of us, me and farah *my roommie* took her to mcd to have breakfast at 5 and all the coffee talk whatever teach her how to drive also chilling out at side of the highway, about to take picture suddenly phone battery went low so no awesome pictures to show hahaha.


I know deep down she needed this. I even brought tissue to the park where she hang out by herself. You better appreciate me rommie cse there's one and only eddy in this whole wide world hahahahaha kbai



p/s: sometimes you just have to listen. Its nice to actually know that someone's there for you.


     I'm having a really bad day so i cant even remember which story came first so I kinda mixed up so
     just bare with me. Just so you know all of the above happened in one day one night but thanks to
     my awesome self and friends who made me feel alot bettahh.



iknewyouweretrouble#np

Just a cup of coffee #1

Have you ever feel so mad and you just sit alone,  have some quality time with yourself thinking, while listening to song that could bring you back into some sense and then you realized, how silly you're acting, throwing tantrums where one easy thing could fix the situation.


This happened to me last night. Three something in the morning to be exact.


I realized that I made some crappy posts before, you know trying to to express my feeling which is good but not in a good way. You know you gotta talk to someone who you've been meaning to talk to instead of keeping it to yourself. Maybe writing it down would help but not 100% effective.

So, it got me thinking, why not start afresh?

Maybe I'm wrong. or maybe I'm not. But thats not the point.

In relationship, you have to give and take to make it work.

Obviously, you cant always win. and you cant be the one who always give in either.

and it gets back to give and take method.



"I guess sometimes you just have to set your ego aside. And remember at the love that you have for that other person is way more important than winning " - HIMYM SE5EP6


They say, fights in a relationship are healthy. But if you keep fighting all the time, it could be worst. You may fight because the other person do something wrong so you just have to talk about it so they wont do it again next time. Or you could sit back and think again why did they do it anyway.


Stop blaming and finger pointing. Instead, take it positively and learn from it.

And this doesnt just for relationship, but also friendship. We talk random and general here.


Knowing myself, I shouldnt write this post as in i'm good enough or well experienced to give relationship advice. Or maybe its nauseating for you to read this, but somehow you'll get there. and everything on the above does make sense.



p/s: This might sounds weird but to those who find drinking coffee and listening to song could talk some sense into you, then you're not alone. I'm here bro. I do feel so. 


#listeningtoFlyFm

That.....

Hopeless.

I feel hopeless.

You know you cant win the fight but still you dont wanna lose but you cant do anything about it.

It may sounds like you're giving up. But it isnt.

It just that you know where you are and not wasting your time fighting for something that isnt worth it.


No matter how hard I fight, no matter what I say, in the end I still lose. I may have point but its not right enough to make me win. I dont have alibi.

Maybe I happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe.

I may have not the chance now, but I will some other time. I know.

If we ever meet again, i'll make this right.



p/s: its not that I dont care, I still do. It just that no matter how hard I try, no one sees. and for now I shall stop being your burden. 


beautifulhangover#nowplaying

You know?

That feeling when you're supposed to feel something but you cant. not because you're heartless or cannot feel anything but it just that you shouldn't feel that way because people judge.


For example, you refuse to eat something because it doesnt taste good but you cant say anything but to eat it because people will say that you're picky.


Get what it means?


Or you got a cut, just a small cut but it hurts because its deep, but you cant brag about it because people will say that you're weak cse all they see it just a small cut but they cant see how deep it is.


See?



p/s: You know, sometimes you cant tell someone everything because some people judge, some people jump into conclusion, some people being on sides, some people dont even care, and the worst some people cant keep it. But for all I know, I'm glad that I have someone that understand. 



Enough said.



#skypingwithlynn♥

A reminder

 p/s: for myself as well. 



finallyfoundyou#nowplaying

FOREIGN LANGUAGE :)

Learning foreign language is beneficial. and fun!

p/s: been working on my korean. wish I can make an entry in Hangul soon! 

13/04/30

Baru rasa macam semalam kau cerita kat aku life matrik kau. Kau tak tau macam mana nak survive another one year without familiar faces around. It sure a hell of rough road but you've made it. and so, i'm very proud of you my friend :)

CONGRATULATIONS!

back then in school, who knows that we had a stalker. and i miss my stalker very much :|

upintheair#nowplaying

Bro-sick

Normally, when hostel students going back on holiday they're looking forward to spend time with their family. So do I.

But mine is bit different cse not all my family members are living under the same roof. My sister is now currently in Kedah, still studying and even on holidays we're not meeting each other cse she's living with my mom. And I stay with my dad, as well as my younger brother and sister.

And talking about brother, he's the one I look forward to meet the most during holidays. One of the major reason is because he's the one and only brother I ever had in the world and he understand me the most. We fight alot, cursed each other and throwing stuffs. But he's also the one who take me out for dinner and buy me sanitary pad when I'm not able to move from bed. I sometimes borrow his money when I'm broke and I lend him some when he need.

But brother-sister's relationship isnt beautiful all time. Of course there's some people who always nice with their siblings and saying I Miss You to them isnt a problem. But for me, I cant simply text or call him and say I miss you. Thats not how I show my affection to my brother or sisters. or anyone. In fact, I never say I Love You or I Miss You to my brother.

To me, if I let my brother borrow my things such as laptop to play games, that means love. Of course it is. We share room *its bunk beds*.  We share shorts. We share shirts. We share alot of things.

But as the time flies, we grow up. Whenever I went back home for holiday, he's not always around. He got school and friends. He has social life. He always go out and only come back at night. We dont spend much time together and it has been months since I last met him.


p/s: I'm writing this entry because I saw your pictures on facebook. You're really grown up. I dont spend much time with you cse i was in boarding school before and living in hostel till now. Though I'm not always there when you're growing up but I hope you'll be a better man. Though I know you wont read this but still I cant say those words I've been wanting to say. Let say sharing stuffs would have the same meaning, I'd say I'm sharing stuff with you. Have a good life my bro :)

thislove#nowplaying

Have you ever feel like people seeing you as the bad guy though you did nothing wrong and its completely someone else's fault?

This kinda remind me of memories in highschool, being around with friends, sure we fight alot. But mostly I didnt remember started it. My friend did. I act normal cse nothing really happen but as soon as I walk into the classes the desk parted, and they sit quite in distance with me. And I took it as nothing's wrong and went back to dorm and see the bed arrangement in distance and half of the room didnt talk to me. Did I do something wrong with you guys? NO. Actually there's just one person who misunderstood me and I dont know how the person do it, manage to soak people's mind with making up stories and stuff but really I dont care. One day when I couldnt hold it back, I burst out my anger which I hold for quite a long time, just go on living a normal life like I always did with the rumors spreading like fire all around and my frenemies seems to be alot more than my real friends for about 2 to 3 months plus. I did not do anything harsh I just scream my lungs out and that person end up crying outside. And that 15 seconds of screaming makes me the bad guy in the situation who did nothing but scream. and *curse*.  Afterall, we're all okay. Because we're friends. 

Friends might fight, but that doesnt mean we hate. That just means we love each other more. If I ever hate you, I didnt even consider you as friend at first. 

The point I'm trying to say here is, though its not my fault and I barely know what's wrong going on around me and a person, in the end i always look like the bad guy. And if you're about to start a cold war/fight with me, bring no one but yourself and face me. If you think going around and making up stories about me will make you look innocent, you're wrong. You just successfully make yourself look pathetic. you know why? because you dont have the guts to stand for yourself that you have to recruit a troop for backing you up. Sad life bitch. That makes you weaker cse you yourself already weak. 

p/s: If I ever hate someone, I'll tell them why I hate them so much that they'll hate themselves too. You dont wanna be the person who brave enough to start a fight but end up crying at the corridor. I might be patient, but I'm not patient enough. And you can keep talking behind my back, because its exactly where you belong.

Macam macam

There's one time, masa aku period pain yang teramat sangat sampai berpeluh peluh tak boleh tido and pain killer pun dah hbs so aku ajak dia pegi seven-e. On our way he was driving so fast and I was like "weh rilek ahh, asal bawak laju? aku sakit perut je pun. bukan nya nak bersalin". Then I burst into laughing. He did too. He's afraid that I couldnt bear the pain so dia bawak laju so that cepat sampai dapat beli ubat and kurangkan sakit.

To be honest, I feel so blessed having him in my life. Seeing his worried and concern face could blew the pain away. well not literally but it could ease the pain at least. However, we shouldnt neglect our safety and put it behind. Safety first. Memang lah emergency, tapi keselamatan lagi penting. Nanti tak pasal2 from sakit senggugut yang boleh heal dalam sejam dua lepas makan ubat jadi lebih teruk. 

p/s: Its the little things that count. Though he just bought me painkillers and mineral water, but he did taking care of me. Thank you :) Is there someone else who did the same to you? Well, appreciate!

Awkward#nowplaying

The time has come

L'heure Avait Sonnê

C'est fou ce qu'on peut être con

L'amour rend parfois trop con

Parfois trop...

On chasse ce qu'il y a de pire

Pour croire et pour s'épanouir

Parfois trop...

J'ai laissé sonner une heure pensant que mon heure avait sonné

J'ai lesé tous les bonheurs, pendant ce temps-là tu m'oubliais

J'ai laissé sonner une heure pensant que mon heure avait sonné

Moi je t'attendais dehors, pendant ce temps tu m'oubliais

A ta porte je me revois

Les fleurs à la main, je l'aperçois

Une autre que moi

J'ai laissé sonner une heure pensant que mon heure avait sonné

J'ai lesé tous les bonheurs, pendant ce temps-là tu m'oubliais

J'ai laissé sonner une heure pensant que mon heure avait sonné

Moi je t'attendais dehors, pendant ce temps tu m'oubliais

J'ai laissé sonner une heure pensant que mon heure avait sonné

J'ai lesé tous les bonheurs, pendant ce temps-là tu m'oubliais

J'ai laissé sonner une heure pensant que mon heure avait sonné

Moi je t'attendais dehors, pendant ce temps tu m'oubliais.....

p/s: check this song out. sometimes its good to listen to new songs. new genre. start afresh.

Enjoy!

and if you have any songs that you would like to share, dont hesitate to suggest!

Takut VS Benci

Takut dan benci

dua perkara berbeza.

Contoh takut lipas

means kalau ada lipas

kau takut

Benci lipas

nak dengar nama pun tak suka

binatang tu lg lah

Jangan buat orang benci

benci kat kau

nanti bila org sebut nama kau

ada yang menyampah

tak nak dengar

kalau dah benci

jangan kan nama

 tempat kau jejak pun

tak ingin nak lalu

kalau tak nak dibenci

hormat.

p/s: Hatred is such a strong emotion. Dont make people hate you.

thriftshop #nowplaying

good old times :')

We used to be that kid who didnt care what people said about how we look, how we took pictures, but that was when we were just kids. 

How I miss being a silly kid acting all stupid not gonna change the fact that i'm growing up.

Life goes on. People grow.

withyou #nowplaying